2013 NCS Commencement Message

Good evening Seniors, Teachers, Families, and Friends,

I’m up here tonight to give you something to walk out into your life with.  And so I am going to take this opportunity to imitate my Rabbi and ask you a question. Will you follow & trust God or trust & follow God?

Follow & Trust vs. Trust & Follow

Maybe this is all it comes down to.  In the modern American Christian culture we lean on our natural tendency to work.  In relation to God we work hard, we shape up, we start ministries, we give it our all…and then we trust that God will pay us back for it.  That no matter where I go or what I do God will bless me.

This doesn’t require any courage at all because everything is under our control and our direction, we are simply looking for some heavenly backup.

I’m doing this for you God.  I’m cleaning up as much sin as I can in my life. And then you will do this for me right?  I’m following after You in general and then I trust You.  God I trust you to bless my plans.

Now for something different.  Now for the one phrase I wish you take with you into the rest of your lives.  Trust God first. 

This requires all the courage you can find in your soul.  Courage to trust God’s way in your life.  Trust the way He cleans you, and at His pace.  Trust the way He transforms you, at His pace.  Trust the opportunities He gives you.  Trust that He is working in the hard times.  Trust that He is working through your pain.  Trust God first, then follow.

How do we know where we are going if we lead God and wait for backup?  Or worse expect blessings.

So it’s not Follow & Trust it’s Lead & Trust.

Who do you really trust in this scenario?  You.  You become the protector of your day.  You protect yourself from judgment with lies and avoidance.  You surround yourself with company that will validate or justify the way you are living, whether it looks like it’s for God or just for you.

This is the path to disappointment in your futures.  This is the path that ends up with you broken and hurting and feeling distant from God.  This is path that leaves you asking God, where were you?

But if as the sun rises each day you look to trust God first and THEN follow, well that’s a completely different path. 

You might think, um, I’m not following down that path I might end up in Africa on missions, or a youth pastor in the inner city, or (gasp) a teacher at a Christian school THAT I JUST GOT OUT OF.  Well you might.  Or God might lead you to be a journalist, a congressmen, a scientist, an engineer anything and anyone that trusts Him. 

When you trust God, He will protect you.  When you tell people you are not perfect but you love Jesus He will protect you.  When you go to a new college where you don’t know anyone but you love Him He will protect you.  When you take a job that is out of your comfort zone because you love Him He will protect you. 

Trust first, then follow.  This is a game changer.  Consider the rich young ruler.  How we read the story of Jesus and the rich young ruler will be an indicator of whether we are in the lead & trust or trust & follow camp.

It’s found in Luke 18:18

This rich young ruler asks Jesus the most critical question anyone can ask.  What must I do to inherit eternal life?  Did you catch that?  What MUST I DO?

At the time of this conversation the Jews lived under the Old Covenant.  They had been given a set of laws to follow and if anyone could follow all of them without one mistake they would be perfect. This we all know is an impossibility.  Following and failing at the law was proving to the rich young ruler that he wasn’t good enough.  So now what must he do?  He is not expecting the answer to be trust in perfect Jesus.

Perfection is the requirement for eternal life. It always has been. Apart from Jesus sacrifice for us none of us would ever qualify.

Jesus tells the rich ruler some commands to do to be good.  They were all straight from the law.  Don’t commit adultery, don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t lie, honor your parents. 

Ruler says, “I totally do those already.”

Jesus answers in verse 22, “One thing you still lack.  Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

When he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich.

Some view this as a salvation passage, not possible, Jesus had not yet made salvation possible.  With that out of the way…

If you are in the follow and then trust camp, you read this and you exclaim, “Yes! Let’s get started, I have so many ideas of things I want to do.   I will do all kinds of radical things that I feel will be pleasing to you maybe and then I trust that you will give me treasure.  I do, you bless.  Call the press everyone will see it, and God would be proud of our accomplishments.  I will blaze these trails and I trust You to honor that.”  This is how you might read it.

If you are in the trust and follow camp you might have seen something completely different.  Again Jesus said in verse 22, “One thing you still lack.  Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

The following was second.  The selling possessions and giving to the poor was what this rich man needed to demonstrate trust to God.  Trust THEN follow.

The follow and then trust camp believes they can do enough to earn God’s favor.  To quote Captain Malcolm Reynolds, “That’s a long wait for a train don’t come.” 

See we cannot earn favor.

Meanwhile trust and follow camp knows that their obedience will always, always be partial on this side of the Kingdom of God.  The bar is just too high.  Even what Jesus asks of this man is not doable on his own.  He must trust God.  The undoableness increases their trust.

They know God might ask them to do the same thing as the rich man, but probably not.  God might ask them to do something dangerous.  God might ask them to give up an expensive hobby so as to have money to bless others with.  God might ask them to enter a career path that isn’t their dream.  God might ask you to be a millionaire island princess.

Whatever it is, it’s not their plan, it’s God and they trust it.  Trust THEN follow.

When the follow or lead and then trust camp messes up they cover it up, and self-protect, desperately trying to keep it all together to receive blessings.

When the trust and follow camp messes up they still trust God.  And they know they have not forfeited their chance to follow His way in the next opportunity.

There is always another opportunity to trust and follow.

Following opportunities can easily be interpreted as “Wait for a sign.” Just, no.  There are thousands of Christians who are wasting their lives, waiting for God to make clear to them their calling.  God has given us the Scripture, which reveals God’s general will for all believers. 

When Moses and God were talking at the burning bush and his mission was given to him he asked, “Suppose the people will not believe me or listen to me?”  (Ex 4:1)  God replied, “What is in your hand?”  What was in Moses’s hand?  The staff God would use to display His power.

Your next opportunity might already be in your hand.  You might be waiting for a drastic call, a burning bush experience, or specific directions.  I know I still do that too.  But what is in our hands? What in our pathways? What happens next in the story?  That is your opportunity to trust and follow.    

What a freeing, beautiful, messy way to live.  It’s the way we were meant to live.

I watched you guys grow up these last 4 years.  When I first met you, you were little freshmen inadvertently doing your best to break my classroom protocols and at times I resented it.  We met again when you were juniors and we promised to make new impressions and you guys had a charm about you and demonstrated a love for God’s Word.  Now as seniors you demonstrate maturity and leadership and I believe with absolute certainty two majors things…1. That you can be the leaders of this messy trustfall.   2. I love you guys.

Seniors, your lives are about to change. For some of you it will be drastic, for others subtle, and some of you will be blown away with what is to unfold.  I am confident that God goes before you.  So ask you one last time, Will you follow & then trust God or trust & then follow?

I'm not insensitive I just say insensitive things.

“People with AS (Aspergers) often offend people or are accused of being insensitive because they seem to have no mental filter. The stereotype is of a person with AS talking to someone at a party and then matter of factly pointing out that the other person has really bad teeth, and asking if they're going to go to a dentist to get them fixed. Part of this problem comes from the whole 'trouble with understanding another person's perspective' thing. People with AS also tend not see what the big deal with being direct is, not care when someone is blunt with them, and assume others feel the same way.”             

                                                                                          -from succeedsocially.com

This has been a lifelong struggle for me.  Many of us were like this as kids, but we grew out of it.  I didn't.  It's part of my journey every single day.  I have loads of coping mechanisms to block my AS/ASD from you, but these slip through from time to time.

Now I have never commented on people's teeth that I'm aware of.  Yet, I sometimes experience the saying something hurtful or inappropriate and immediately recognizing it.  Other times, I don't recognize it.  Sometimes it is to your face.  Sometimes it's to others.  Sometimes it's hurtful other times its just odd or easily misunderstood.  I don't want to do this, but so far I have been a unable to stop it on my own.

Knowing I have AS/ASD explains it, but it can also make me feel trapped by it.  Everyone deals with taming the tongue but imagine you have to tame a tongue connected to a brain void of normal mental filters. Imagine needing to apologize for something you said that only a child would have had the same lack of discernment.  It can feel hopeless.

I struggle with the fact that I am a terrible example of Christ when I do this.  That's Satan’s voice in my head.  When we struggle we can only be an example on dependence on Jesus.  Perfection is not an expectation.

Sure, it could be that my brain is wired to be a jerk forever with no consideration that I am a new creation in Christ.  But I'm going to go forward with the belief that Jesus is stronger than my AS/ASD It's not that I haven't always thought that, but I have been trying to fix it on my own.  Now I'm going to look for opportunities to be overly gentle and overly sensitive to others.  Then my words might come out relatively sensitive.  That might sound so ridiculous to you but for me and my son Jack and hundreds of other aspies (AS/ASD) we are naturally blunt and insensitive no matter how much we love you.  

These are my shoes:)

(When I was first told to walk a mile in another person shoes, you know to think about other perspectives, I could only think about how uncomfortable that would be, because what are the chance we have the same shoe size?  Same flat arch?  Are they wearing Nikes?  How hot is it outside?  Why are walking a mile?  What is at the end of the mile?  Do we have to walk back?  Can I have my shoes back to walk back?  I missed the obvious point.  The obvious point wasn't obvious.  That's a quarter mile in my shoes.)

This morning I have already seen Jesus give me one opportunity to be sensitive by simply remaining silent.  He can do this in me.  I can progress and at the future resurrection of the dead I will be fully healed.

In the meantime, if you hear me start a sentence and stop it before I finish, don't ask me what I was going to say.  Chances are good that I seized Jesus opportunity a tad late.

In the meantime, when I slip again, know that I truly am sorry and I am even more thankful for Jesus's grace.  It really is incredible and unending.

Philippians 1:9-10 for all.