don't judge a book by it's cover

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

It’s sound advice from an old English idiom.  We teach it to our kids so they learn that people aren’t always what you see.  Don’t give up on Albert Einstein because he looks homeless he has something to teach us.  Don’t think Natalie Portman is trouble because she is cute.  Don’t think Jon Stewart is smart because he is on tv.  And don’t think something racist because all my examples happen to be Jewish. 

 

 I struggle to start conversations, especially difficult ones so I will most often start them using text or email.  If this was the 1800’s I would write letters.  It turns out that in my emails I often come across as angry and hurtful.  This is when I intended to be direct and honest or even confused.  I’m disturbed when I hear how people take my words.  I have unintentionally hurt many people with the written word.

Am I angry and hurtful?  Is that my cover or is that my story? 

I also write this blog, a book called Opportunity Jesus, 6 other books not published, and an occasional inspirational email for co-workers.  Those words are uplifting and life filled.  They are full of grace and hope that aren’t in my “tough” conversation emails.

Am I full of grace and hope?  Is that my cover or is that my story?

If we run into each other at the mall, in the hallway at my work, or anywhere unplanned it might be awkward.  Unless you are in my inner circle (consists of about 5 people) I’m most comfortable in the back of a room, and probably not participating.  I’m not super comfortable starting conversations or knowing what should be said at the beginnings or endings of conversations.  In my general life I do not get excited about things nor do I get depressed. Not even about Jesus. I’m even keel and it rubs people the wrong way.  I don’t get excited for people appropriately, nor do I share grief.  I don’t make Jesus very public in my private life.  It appears that I don’t care or most often that I’m negative.  Pair that with some actually negativity once and a while and I probably come across as crazy…sociopathic…untrustworthy…sketch…or at least a downer. 

Am I a downer?  Is that my cover or is that my story?

If you see me teach my class or speak at a church or chapel or camp you will see an energetic inspired guy who loves Jesus with his whole heart and encourages others.  I sound like the life of the party, everybody’s best friend.  Just a darn good guy.

Am I an inspirational guy?  Is that my cover or is that my story?

Don’t judge a book by its cover can be complicated can’t it?  The truth is I’m none of these things I’m ALL of those things.  None of them are the real me and the others fake.  It’s all real!  I am angry and hurtful; full of grace and hope.  I am a downer yet inspirational guy.  I’m a contradiction.  Broken and totally depraved yet holy and perfect and new because of Jesus.  That’s hilarious.  That’s true.  Just know this Jesus is working in me everyday.  He has judicially pardoned my sin.  And I love Him and He loves me even when I’m angry.  And I love Him and He loves me even when I’m crazy.  He is working to make me new.  To match His pardon.  It’s my brokenness that proclaims His might.  He saved me. 

I will do my part to remember that you share a similar story too, but with very different parts.  And we can live together in love…and crazy; because of Jesus.