Thursday, March 28, 2013

Favorite Mistake Part 3


          Live Like Jesus class was going to be epic.  I had thought a lot about the checkpoint study and had concluded that two things had been missing from the evening services that I could incorporate in the class.  Number one was commitment.  As a high school student you have to come to class every day.  Sure it’s by compulsion but I wasn’t against that yet in my life.  To make it clear how serious LLJ class was going to be I handed out a covenant for them to sign on the first day of class.  I had grown up with covenants.  I thought they were binding to dedication but truly they only bind us to guilt when we fail.  Here is the covenant…

 Live Like Jesus
Covenant

I, ________________________, have exchanged my life for Jesus life.

I will look to encounter Him daily.  Y/ N

 I will enrich the lives of others because of Jesus in me. Y/ N

 I will engage my world with Jesus love. Y/ N

 I will emulate Him with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. Y/ N

I promise to forget the failures in my Christian walk prior, and promise to make new strides in my emulation of Jesus Christ future.  Y/ N

Today I make a willful commitment to this experience and will give 110% on a daily basis.  Y/ N

As I become enemy number one of the Enemy number one I commit myself to prayer, for myself and others fighting this battle with me.  Y/ N

I understand it will not be easy, but I will fight for victory by Christ who strengthens me.  Y/ N

I will open myself up to the Holy Spirit to work in me.  Y/ N

I will open up to my peers who are in this with me.  Y/ N

I will be unashamed to become a new creature, unrecognizable from the creature that first began.  Y/ N

To all of these things I commit, this will be the year that defines me.  Y/ N


____________________________________
Signed

          Oh my goodness I thought this was a good idea?  First of all, the first line proves that I was living in a paradigm where I needed to somehow buy Jesus.  This is false.  I will forget my failures?  Ok, that’s actually smart.  And try harder?  Oh no, I really thought that would work?  I did.  Give 110%?  That isn’t even possible.  The year that defines me?  No pressure though right? 

          4 students bailed out after that first day of class.  At the time I bragged that we were doing something so legit that the flakes couldn’t keep up.  Now I question the ones who stayed.  At this point I am tempted to go into self-loathing and wonder if I should be fired for this.  No, everyone involved thought this was great.  Thousands of people today would think this is great.  It looks great.  But it doesn't work.

         Here is the second thing I added to the class we didn’t have in Illinois…assessment.  Every good class has assessment.  Now believe it or not I still held onto grace and knew that we could never rightful grade each other’s walk with Christ.  This truth was a seed planted in me that God eventually caused to grow.

          Our assessments looked like this.  As we did the Bible study students would write down in their notebooks all of the Jesus checkpoints.  At the end of each week we would go around the room one by one and select a checkpoint to apply to our life.  Then a week later we would report strengths and weaknesses associated with it and select a new one going forward.  I graded them gracefully, as long as they shared they got A’s, it didn’t matter how they did.

          It started off great, high energy good reports.  But then mid-semester people start forgetting their checkpoint, lying about checkpoints and by semesters end a few people are openly not involved.  Visibly I was disappointed and “encouraged” them on to do better.  Privately I was exactly the same.  I had weeks go by that I couldn’t remember what my checkpoint was either.  I had weeks I didn’t want to do it at all. And many times my checkpoint seemed to hard for me to do on my own. But we had to. 

          That isn’t a relationship with Jesus, and that isn’t Christianity.  That is a mess that causes spiritual retardation.  I began to wonder if my relationship was just broken.  Because I couldn’t make myself grow.  The checkpoints weren’t as powerful as they should have been.  I wondered if the students would eventually think the whole idea was a sham.

          All this time God was at work in me.  And eventually He would flip the script and show me how these “checkpoints” were really opportunities!  He would work a mistake into something good.  To be continued…

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